Twisted Thoughts of a Twisted Thinker
by RhythmStickLunatic
Summary: Various and random rantings of everyone's favourite Joker! I decided that this is what it would be like if the Joker decided to keep a diary. I know he wouldn't, he doesn't have time for that...but I thought it would be interesting.
1. Chapter 1

Fourteenth of October, 2006

One day, I don't know how far from now, I will look back at everything I've done and just laugh. Oh, I will laugh! HA HA! And the funny thing is – Yes, there are so many – but the best part is that you people still get this notion in your thick little skulls that I actually have a _plan_! You actually mistake me for a_schemer_! HA HA HA! I'd like to think that, after all the precious time I've spent with the people of this city, that you'd understand who exactly it is you are dealing with, maybe better than I do myself, but NO! OF COURSE NOT!

"What are his _plans_?" you ask! "What horrible thing does he _plan_ to do next?" I can just hear you people _whining!_ Sniffling and sobbing about your poor lost "husband" or "baby" or "wife" –these are just _words_ you use to link yourselves to other people. Dependence just makes us weaker, but you people don't seem to grasp this. But anyhow…yeah… I can just see your flushed, pathetic faces illuminating from a giant, flickering screen in the city square, sobbing and spitting into a Channel 10 microphone, "What will he do next?!" It is so hilarious that, after all these years, you people think you can pick me apart, analyze me, but you don't know me at all! Hee hee HA HA!

Understand this; it is as much of a mystery to me as it is to you! You see, time is nothing but a series of _opportunities._ But this is yet another thing that all you schemers don't seem to understand! Maybe you just can't see it. Yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe that's why you let so many opportunities pass you by. You spend so much time looking at what will happen in the _future,_ asking yourself if it will all go according to _plan._ It's like…like a _train._ A train of opportunity, chugging down the tracks. It never stops, but there is a small group of people like me who think quick enough to jump on, while everyone else just stands on the tracks with a blank expression, focusing on the _destination_, but they don't even notice the_ BIG TRAIN_ careening toward them. They don't notice until they are crushed into tiny little bits, splattered all over the pavement, staining it red!

No, no, no…no, _stain_…that's not the right word. Maybe…paint, or…accent. Oh yes—HA HA HA! Because every spot of blood is a masterpiece. Every stiff is a trophy. Every bullet I use, every drop of blood on my knife, is a friendly reminder of my accomplishments. Oh, and can you people even see the IRONY? Of course not! –Why am I the only one who ever sees the funny side? Am I the only one who realizes that I am doing you people a favor? I am eliminating all these people from the world, and you don't even _thank_ me! I guess you just don't see things the way I do.

You see, no one is "innocent." Innocence does not exist! Deep down, you all know that every single person I have killed was getting in _someone's_ way. Every single person has done _something_unforgivable in their lifetime. They all did their part; all I did was remove them from the big picture. But in the grand scheme main sequence, who's to notice? Removing one or two little specks from a Picasso wouldn't make a difference.

But, as for me…I am the canvas. Without me, there would be no painting! The world can't kill me, because they know that without me, they couldn't survive! See, I am one of few people who actually make an impact. If I were gone, the world would riot! Who else would play my role in society? Who else would upset the established order?

Oh, and here we find another thing I _never_ see a thank you note for! I am this city's sole provider of _chaos!_ And, as we all know, the world thrives on chaos. Chaos…disorder…anarchy…all things that keep the world…_sane_. Oh how ironic! HA HA! After all, all work and no play makes me a dull boy.

I'm not a monster. I _understand_ things that no one else seems to get. I find it so funny that you people cast me out…like a _leper_! That's one of many things that is wrong with this world. Nobody appreciates knowledge. Why am I so often mistaken for insane? In reality – ugh, reality—I am a genius!

And, I know I'm getting so far off track, but _there_ is something we have to worry about. _Reality._ That is the only thing we have to fear! I have escaped reality long ago. I create my own back-story. I create my own present. I create my own future! I create my own rules! I'm not crazy, I have just chosen a different path.

Oh, trying to explain myself is tiring. I need no explanation. I can explain my thoughts and my motives, but what's the point. All this _thinking_ is too much for humanity's feeble minds! The _jokes_ you understand, but it's their meanings that you have to think about. I do what I do to send a message. Everything burns. Everybody falls. Until you make an impact, no one will notice when you're gone. If you think about it my way, everyone is already DEAD! HA HA HOO HEE HA! Chaos, my friends. That is what keeps us _alive._


	2. Twisted Twice Chapter 2

Nineteenth of October, 2006

The real world is such a perplexing place. It's so full of people who try to make it better, but in turn, end up destroying it in the process! Am I the only one who gets the joke? HA HA! You people have all these rules and you think they'll save you! You try to create a better planet by creating more order and regulations. You find comfort in the system. It's all one big organism, feeding on your reliance and false sense of trust. Oh, and this time of year just baffles me the most. I am beginning to think that **you** people are the **crazy** ones!

It's election time, folks! HA HA HA! Election time, a time when you incompetent, dependent citizens realize that you cannot think for yourselves, and you in turn attempt to reach a consensus to promote some dishonest slave of the law to make all your decisions for you! And the best part is, you think the government actually has control! No, they do not have power. I've been trying to make you people understand that the law does not have power over you…you just have to outsmart the law. I mean, the law outsmarts you on a daily basis, and you don't even realize it! The law brainwashes you into thinking order is right, and that people **need** a leader. The only **right** in the world is **wrong.** The only **order **is **disorder! **The only true way to live in this world is **without rules.**

People seem so confused by this paradoxical way of thinking, and yet every four years you elect a leader to **mislead!** Your minds are so ambiguous, and that's why I find you so intriguing! Your way of thinking is so amusing to me! Oh, this world is so…sardonic! HA HA HA! But…I suppose I really should get back on track. What was I saying? Oh, right, the presidency…

Now, I know you people couldn't survive without a leader, which is why I only deliver my special brand of anarchy in small-ish doses. When you people prove to me that you can handle more, I may bump it up a notch. No, I'm not concerned about your safety! HA! But as you know, I'm doing this to prove a point…I'm still letting you people think for yourselves, but at the same time, I am nudging you along, to help you start seeing things my way. I mean, if I **completely destroyed **the order…well everyone would lose their minds! HA HA! You can't handle spontaneous change that is not under organized control. I am waiting to start a revolution! Help **me** to help **you**!

But…it seems that nobody ever takes me **seriously.** Oh well…maybe I **will** have to start turning up the dial…Maybe that's the only way you will truly **see**. Or maybe you and I are destined to do this forever. I don't mind. I **love** my job. Maybe it's best that you continue to depend on dishonest politicians to wipe your noses for you. Maybe it's best that you don't think the way I do, at least for the time being. Maybe it's your fear and closed-mindedness that make my job so…interesting! HA HA HA!


End file.
